Day one


I remember the night Matt died it was 8.08pm on Sunday August 25th. My family had just left the hospital and the plan was to be back in the morning. Kathy, Matts mom had just said to me, I will stay just 5 minutes more… Matt died in those minutes.. a dear friend told me, there are 3 breaths before he dies… they are long and drawn out. I remember hearing the first one… I moved over and climbed into the bed, he took his next breath, and I knew it was coming. I didn’t want him to breath his final breath, I secretly prayed please please don’t leave me… it was the hardest moment of my life.
I remember waking up the next day.. day one! I felt ok. I had been sleeping in hospital beds for months, but I remember waking up and feeling like I slept. I was happy. But then I remembered, Matt was gone.. it took my breath away. I gasped for air, I suddenly realized this is it. Matt was really gone and my life as I know it was gone. My heart ached, a pain I can’t describe. Panic set it, anger and confusion. I felt so sick to my stomach. It was real he had died and I would never see him again.
Yea day one.. it sucked, it is a day I will never forget.

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