It has been an incredibly grueling few weeks and I’m so happy to say tonight I get to take my trigger shot and release the eggs for feeezing!
it hasn’t been plain sailing in fact I could say it’s been one of the hardest few weeks since losing Matt. The hormones, injections, blood draws, more injections, cysts, 5 stitches later and I’m still smiling…. (well almost!) Everyone talks about the emotional roller coaster of IVF but honestly until you do it it’s hard to describe. The waiting, watching egg counts, hoping your bloods are going the right direction, the cramps are all bare able but what’s not is the anxiety, sadness and over whelming sense that if it doesn’t work it’s your fault. It’s something you have done, you didn’t do enough, not skinny enough, not young enough the list goes on. You watch the ultrasound screen and will it to show good news… it’s hard, more than hard.. it’s a full time job. I have been blessed by two incredible friends, Ash and Deebs. They have held my hand, helped me pee, driven me to appointments, made tea, brought dinner, let me cry, laugh and leave weird Marco Polos’s! They are my sisters in every sense of the word. IVF is lonely but with friends like these it makes it bearable and fun along the way (a few parking mishaps but nothing these three amigos couldn’t handle.) Chris B and T plus Geeb have all played a part and without this army I wouldn’t be here!
Wednesday will be a huge day for me, I will see if any of the eggs where mature enough for freezing and I will start the journey to getting my body ready to implant the baby boy embryo we made last year. I know that’s it’s all in gods hands now and I know I have so much to be grateful for, but I do so want to be a mom. So please cross your fingers and toes! I will x